I Can’t Forgive People Easily, Doesn’t Mean That I Can’t Forgive At All

He did something wrong yesterday.
And I felt like I was the only person who’s trying to keep this relationship goes right.
And simply, he didn’t even realize that he’s done something wrong yesterday.
He acted like everything was “OKAY” this morning. In fact, everything wasn’t “OKAY”. Well, at least for me.
But then, he did something nice today, without even saying ‘sorry’ for what he’s done yesterday.

He’s just so insensitive. And that fact, makes me wonder even harder, “Why do I love that kind of guy?”. I’ve been always dreaming about a guy whom is so sensitive to whatever I feel. And he’s absolutely not. Not at all.
Hhmm…I’m sick and tired of these…but I just can’t quit. Knowing he loves me so, with all his imperfections, that’s enough and I’ll stand it for some more time ahead. I guess…

You’re not perfect, and so am I. So, love, lets make this relationship goes perfect with our imperfections and our immature attitude. I’m trying, I hope so are you.

To you, with all my weakness and strength in a box with a ribbon on it…

Hhh…I don’t know I just love him so bad…weird…

_a.risk-taker_

See Ya Soon (or not?)

I’m in a huge stress, -a real huge one- so I’ll put this blog on a long hiatus. It shouldn’t be too long, if I can make myself get better soon.

Love ya, everyone!



P.S : But I will keep online-ing on Facebook as often as possible. See you there if you want to see me (Ngarepp! Siapa juga yang mau ketemu orang lagi stress???!!!)

_a.risk-taker_

I Caught Myself - Paramore

Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I

*
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something
That I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something
That I should've never thought of you of you

**
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want

You got it, you got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, hypnotic
You're leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this
You're not the one I believe in
With God as my witness

back to *
back to **

Don't know what I want
But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
But I know in my heart it's not you

back to *

I knew, I know in my heart it's not you
I knew, but now I know what I want, I want, I want
Oh no, I've should have never thought

~~~

Oh, God…I don’t wanna be in love with him anymore…help me…I just wanna live my life without his name…

_love.phobia_

Masalahnya...Gara-Gara 'Mbak-Mbak' PPL...

Today is just another exhausting day...


Jadi...hari ini ada 'Mbak-Mbak' PPL Jurusan Bahasa Inggris gitu di sekolah gue. Nah yang kebagian kelas gue. Anak-anak, entah kenapa, kayak udah kesepakatan bikin keributan yang tak terkendali. Hwahaha! Pada heri alias heboh sendiri semua.
Kami, satu kelas, disuruh bikin kelompok dan bikin dialog dari cerita yang dibacakan si Mbak PPL. Kami semua pada minta dipilihkan...

And...

Ah! Suer, nyebelin abis tuh 'Mbak-Mbak'nya! Lagi-lagi gue kepaksa satu kelompok sama 123...huuuuhh...mana dialognya ada yang mesti ngelibatin cuma kami berdua lagi...
Jadilah gue abis dikeroyok olokan dari anak-anak...

Aaaaaaaarrghh!

Sebel!

Terus, 123 juga rese banget lagi! Kenapa juga gue mesti salting tiap dia ngajak gue diskusi dialog? Ough! Menyebalkaaaaaannn!
Kelompok cuman berisi 3 anak, selain gue sama 123 ada si Rois. Tapi dia juga-nyebelin-banget-pake-nget ngolokin gue sama 123 terus...

Apa nggak cukup gue kerja satu kelompok sama 123 pas kesenian di jam pelajaran sebelumnya? Dan bikin gue nyium bau parfumnya yang, lagi-lagi dengan sangat menyebalkannya, membuat gue yang seharusnya sebel sama dia, jadi nggak bisa sebel!

Denial phase, kata Ibu. Gue suka sama 123, tapi nggak mau ngaku...is that so?

Tauk, deh...

_love.phobia_


P.S : Minggu depan tim basket gue bakal tanding sama SMK PGRI Ponorogo. Wish us luck, yea!

Confused...

aduh...masa gue masih salting sih di depan 123????????????????


it's a BIG annoying feeling that I have...


T_T

_love.phobia_

Watchout! I’m Coming Back Again!

Well, I’m doing such kinda “borongan” update. Feel free to enjoy it or not.

It was raining when I wrote this in my Microsoft Word’s file. And when you read it, that’s when I probably have gone to the deepest part of my dream.

Uh! I hate hard rain. Feels like you are in a big hurry and troublesome situation. You can’t go anywhere but stay at home. But I love if it’s just a drizzle. Just like my bestest friend, Lia. She loves it too.

Hmmph…what was I feeling this last two week?

LIKE NOONE’S CARING ABOUT MYSELF AND LOVING ME…

Suddenly, when I was writing this part I remembered Mocca’s lyrics. Forgot the title :

Losing you it’s not the end of the world
But it’s true that it hurts me so bad

Yeah…you name it a-broken-heart maybe…

To you, the one who broke my heart without realizing it and would never visit my blog to read this…

I’ve done everything to make you notice me
Don’t you ever feel it?
I’ve been dreaming about the day you’ll say you love me too
But it’s just a mistake I made
The mistake that I would never do again
For you, well, I wish…

_love.phobia_

Once Upon A Time in My Life...

Some day…
I’ll take a look back…
And figure out where I was standing in…
Where I was coming from…

Remember the day
I was taught by the life…
Try to keep it save…in my mind…
The time I was trying to be the tough girl

Once upon a time in my life…
I would finally understand what life is actually supposed to be…
And be thankful for what God has given to me each day in the past…
Always wanna keep these all in my deepest mind…so that noone can erase it all from me…


_love.phobia_

A Walk to Remember (hiks...hiks...)

Judul : A Walk to Remember
Tahun : 2002
Pemeran : Mandy Moore, Shane West, Darryl Hannah,
dll.
Genre : Drama Romantis

Oke, I know that I'm not an updated people. Gue baru nonton A Walk to Remember barusan. Dan dengan sukses, gue menghasilkan hujan airmata...huhuu...hiks...hiks...

KEREEEEEENNNN!!! Tapi bikin nangis setengah ember...
Oke, I know, I'm pathetic! But, it was so great that I couldn't resist to cry. Gue emang sering nangis kalau nonton film romantis, tapi yang ini beda...(berasa iklan kopi apa gitu gue!). Ini bener-bener tangis setengah ember.

Buat yang pengen tahu ulasannya dan sedikit cerita (gue yakin kalian semua udah pada nonton, 2002 gitu lho...), bisa tanya gue, hehe...

Oh, ya...Shane West keren ya...???

Yang mau share silahkan. Oh, ya yang bisa kasih tahu gimana caranya gue ngedapetin novelnya, pleaseeee...I need your help!


_love.phobia_